More than once, I've been described as someone who gets bored easily. I "come and go" is also something even my ex girlfriend of a long-term relationship tells people about me. While half of me might be on board with that idea, in truth, I am opposed to it too.
Although one might simply disregard it, I, for one am worried. I haven't a clue about who I am, what my values and visions may be. My life has been a boat without a sail, life decisions always based on careless intuitions. A drunk captain drives my boat never ready to afloat.
Often in life, I found myself constantly obsessing about tangible things like: a celebrity, a crush, an idea, a lifestyle, and the most dangerous of all, a constructed fantasy of life that I find myself drowning into.
However just like tonight, once in a while I do pause and question my actions. There are moments of clarity, pure division of black and white. And sometimes, something does STUCK. Special sets of things that made me who I truly am.
- The fact that I like to WRITE out loud
- The fact that sport is still my escape
- The fact that I obsess about movie theories
- The fact that I will always take up debating with anyone no matter the level of intelligence
- The fact that I still idolise Freja, a model I've always adored
- The fact that some people are irreplaceable: 이예지(a close friend whom I had a crush on) and my ex (whom sadly still triggers me even after 1.5 years of break up)
- The fact that some personalities do stuck no matter the situation or circumstance:
Impulsiveness, Courageous, Adventurous, Kind-hearted but Dramatic and regretfully, Manipulative
Frankly, I'm always rather envious of people who seemed to have their shit together. I mean, who doesn't really? People who's passion was set since they're children, people who has stone-like principle that never wavers. Generally, people who have found their purpose in life and are skipping daily closer and closer to their happily ever after.
